Friday, 16 March 2018

Here's A Little Life Update For You!

Here's A Little Life Update For You Banner
It probably has not escaped your notice that I haven’t posted since Christmas Day. 

There wasn’t any real reason or plan. I just lost my motivation, I lost my inspiration and I lost all determination to post every week. Not through lack of ideas or even lack of wanting to write I just plain and simple wanted some time off. Recently there has been so much negativity based on the world of blogging/ influencers and for a while, I just wanted to keep my head down and just not engage in any of that drama. This isn’t to say I’m not proud of blogging, but I do this primarily as a hobby and a way to potentially help others I just didn’t need any drama. 

So, what Have I been up to since Christmas? Well, actually quite a lot. It’s another reason for why I haven’t really been blogging too much. 

Firstly, I won my ESA fight finally and got given what I should have got nearly 9 months ago. I know compared to some who have had to wait 9 months isn’t long but when you have a life to pay for and you’re living off £50 a week, 9 months feels like a lifetime. They also backdated me which was an absolute godsend. I can now say I am debt free. I have nothing owed on my credit card, nothing owed to HMRC nothing owed to anyone and it feels SO good. I even have some savings.

Next my degree. Gosh, it has been hard lately. I’ve just hit the second year (because I’m doing it part time it’s my third year studying but only my second year of my degree) so things have ramped up a bit. Essays feel that little harder and there’s just more to take in. I’m still getting excellent results, I’m still enjoying it and I’m still loving the content but at the same time I’m desperate to finish and have a break from education. 

Selection of our Paris photos

I also took a trip to Paris. It was James & I’s first trip ever abroad. Due to out various health issues, it's always been difficult and a bit of a pipe dream but we did it and my oh my it was so worth it. I enjoyed everything single bit of it even if my anxiety did play up a little. I ended up having to have McDonalds 2 nights for dinner because my anxiety means I can’t go in most restaurants. We even went to Disney land which for me was amazing. I have never been before and so I felt like a child the whole time. 

My health has been ok, up and down as always but I’m learning to live with it a bit better. Some days are worse than others; in fact, someday I can barely get out of bed but that is what chronic illness for me consists of. Good and bad days. Still haven’t got that baby and I still haven’t lost enough weight but I’m mentally doing a-ok and better than usual. 

Finally, James proposed! Yes, we are getting married. It came as a complete shock to me, I honestly had no idea he was even thinking about marriage. He didn’t it in such a lovely way that I honestly wouldn’t have wanted it either way. I won’t go into detail about how he did it because that’s really for us and our family to know but basically, he surprised me with a new football top (that id been anting) with my new surname to be on the back. I cried. Everyone has been extremely kind and given us cards, gifts, money etc to congratulate us and we spent our time in Paris together alone celebrating. Plans are already in the running and a date has been set! I will be blogging the journey.

I must admit that my upload schedule will be a bit all over the place for the next few months. University work, wedding planning and health are going to mean that getting the time and energy to sit down and blog could be hard, but I already have ideas in the works so hopefully, I can get some posts ready to go. 

It feels so good to be back doing what I love.
For more places to find me go to my TwitterPinterest, or Instagram

Monday, 25 December 2017

Blogmas Day 25- A Very Happy Christmas To You

Blogmas Day 25- A Very Happy Christmas To You Banner

A very very Happy Christmas to you all. I hope you all have a good, restful and happy day. Remember that self-care, health and wellbeing is still important today. 
If you don't celebrate Christmas I hope you have a good and happy day as well.

If you are suffering in any way please feel free to message me and If you need help remember that it is always available, even on Christmas. Christmas can be lonely so remember to reach out to people. 

Lots of love from Bethany x

For more places to find me go to my TwitterPinterest, or Instagram.

Saturday, 23 December 2017

Blogmas Day 23 - My 2018 Expectations

Blogmas Day 23- My 2018 Expectations Banner
This will be a fairly short post but it’s an important one that I want to write and eventually look back on. My expectations for 2017 were tame, I didn’t expect much from it if I’m honest. 2016 wasn’t the best of years for me and I just assumed that 2017 would be a continuation of that, but honestly its actually been a lot better than I thought. Now none of this means it WILL happen but rather what I’d like and expect to happen. Things can change but these are what I know is possible.

Friday, 22 December 2017

Blogmas Day 22 - A 2017 Roundup

Blogmas Day 22 - A 2017 Roundup Banner
So, as we draw closer to Christmas Day, the end of blogmas and the end of 2017 now seems like a good time to round up the last year. From the new year’s resolutions, I set the aims I wanted to achieve by the end of 2017 I want to talk about it all. It seems crazy to think we have gone through yet another year, as I grow older they do start to go much quicker. 

The first thing I want to touch on is all the positives of 2017. While I do think sometimes my life revolves around negativity I do have to start recognising that things do go right too. 
My favourite 2017 photo.
  • I hit another year with James; we are up to 4 now. Every year I feel more love for him and every year I can see our future that little bit clearer. 
  • James & I stayed in Brighton twice this year. Each time was sunny, and it was just so special. It is our favourite place and it just so relaxing to be there together. 
  • James & I also made a lot of positive and important decisions to start the process of living together. It’s been a long time coming but honestly, I’m so ready and at least now the ball is rolling and it will happen!
  • I’ve had a lot of special times with my brother this year. We spent a week together in Cornwall, we’ve had day trips out and a few movie nights. 4yo is such a lovely age, I don’t want him to grow up. 
  • We did have a fertility appointment. Whatever the outcome and how we felt we did make the step to get that help and I’m proud of us for doing it. 
  • My mental health has been, overall, the best its been in years. I still struggle now and again obviously but I’m coping much better and my overall mood is a lot happier.
  • I have blogged every single month this year. I have taken a few breaks, but in general, I have been regularly posting on my blog and I have loved it. 
  • While I haven’t lost weight I also haven’t got near to the same weight I was in 2016 which is a big plus. Every year since I was about 14 I have put weight on, this will be the first year I haven’t been larger than the year before and I’m proud of that. 

I’d say that they are quite big positives for me. When I think back on 2017 I can look back be happy that I have actually had a pretty positive year. 

So, my new year’s resolutions last year were to 

1. Start Blogging 

2. To lose weight 

3. To read more 

4. Get fertility help 

5. On track with my degree

At the time 5 seemed to be too little to focus on the whole year but honestly, I didn’t realise just how much effort would go into every single resolution I made. I knew I wanted to try and achieve them all and I knew it would be hard. I didn’t think would I have actually hit them all though.

As I said I have been consistently blogging since January. I have lost some weight and I continue to lose weight. I have definitely read a lot more, I can’t say how many for sure because I read at Mine, James’ and my mums but I know it has been more than the 5 I did last year. We did dive into fertility help, obviously, from my blog post, you can tell it wasn’t as positive as we hoped but we did do it. Lastly, I know for sure that I ended the summer on another 1st and I’ve started my next year already. 

There have obviously been negatives this year and I don’t want to dwell on them, but I will write a few so there’s contrast. 
  • James still hasn’t got the help he needs for his health, he is now at least seeing someone who I have some hope for, but I just hate seeing him in pain and in this limbo of treatment. 
  • We didn’t conceive naturally this year. I didn’t think we would which is why seeking fertility help was a resolution but part of me had hope that my body could do it. 
  • I lost my job and have been on benefits since February. Unfortunately, my last job was not ok with my health needs and made life very difficult for me. I am having problems with the DWP but I’m surviving
  • My health has not improved like I thought it might. I wasn’t expecting miracles but I kind of thought something would progress but sadly no. I still have all the symptoms I had last year plus a few more I think. It’s all about managing them now rather. 
So, there we have it. A roundup of the last year, to say it's been mixed is probably an understatement but I’d say the positives this year have no doubt outweighed the negatives. Everything happens for a reason as they say and I’m sure that 2018 will be a great year for both me, James and my family.

If you haven't already seen it, you can view all my blogmas posts here.

For more places to find me go to my TwitterPinterest, or Instagram.

Wednesday, 20 December 2017

Blogmas Day 20- Weightloss Wednesday || The Benefits Of Water

Blogmas Day 20- Weightloss Wednesday || The Benefits Of Water Banner
My fertility appointment this time last week really opened my eyes to how much I have been slacking on my weight loss. Sure, I’ve lost a few pounds and I haven’t reached what I was this time last year but hovering still isn’t good enough. If I was hovering at a weight that was healthy then that would be great, but I’m hovering at a dangerous weight and its time to change that.

With the help of some lovely ladies on Twitter and my lovely partner, I have started taking this challenge to lose at least 4 stone very seriously. One part of my change that is crucial to me and always has been is increasing my water intake. I used to drink Pepsi all the time, every day in fact. I decided to cut it down to when I’m just out and ONLY drinking water based drinks (Coffee, Squash, Tea) when I’m at home and what a difference I have seen.

Due to this, and not actually knowing the benefits myself I decided hey, why not write a post about the benefits of drinking water!

Tuesday, 19 December 2017

Blogmas Day 19- My To Be Read List

Blogmas Day 19- My To Be Read List Banner
So today I'm not feeling so good. It’s only a cold but with my other illnesses, it leaves me feeling exhausted and run down. I’m not going to let it affect me too much before Christmas, I have too much to do so instead I'm spending a day feeling sorry for myself, tucked up in bed, warm with a good book. 

Talking of books, and feeling so poo I decided to put up a smaller post that didn’t require as much effort as what I did have planned for today. I want to carry on posting blogmas posts and I refuse, just because of a cold, to ruin that streak. This is a list of all the books on my To Be Read list. This will be a great way for others to get some ideas but also for me to keep track of how much I’m reading and how much I have left to read.